Chris O (follow on Twitter: @COakleyFtbl)
Wed 16 July 2008

More grapevine grousing...

We start today with news that David Villa is leaving Valencia to join Newcastle United in a £14.5 million deal.

Actually he's not really. That was just a lie, but it's exactly the sort of thing that makes up so many of the transfer rumour and gossip columns seen these days on the web and in your daily newspapers.

The people that purport this utter tosh seem to think that we, the level-headed football fans of this world, can't get enough of it. Needless to say some people can't, but we at SPAOTP show nothing but the utmost contempt for this useless tittle-tattle and prefer to read that old-fashioned stuff which used to be known as 'fact'.

It's a subject we've covered before
at Some People Are On The Pitch and needless to say we don't feel the need to go over it all again, but if like us you're constantly wound up by this ever-increasing proliferation of gossip and conjecture, salvation is at hand. The football clubs are getting their own back.

This week we received news that PFC Kuruvchi from Uzbekistan were proudly announcing the capture of none other than Barcelona's Samuel Eto'o. Their website said (in broken English):

"In addition, invited and signed contract with Cameroonian forward Samuel Eto'o from Barcelona. Striker will arrive in Tashkent on July 17th and will play in the second half of championship of Uzbekistan."

Quite a scoop, you're probably thinking, but don't get scratching your head too much. The story was quickly dismissed by a Barcelona spokesman who was keen to tell reporters "I don't think it's very likely."

The PFC Kuruvchi website has also now changed its proclamation to say that Eto'o has been invited to undertake contract negotiations, but that's all by the by now. The deed, it seems, has been done: lazy journalists from all over the world were momentarily led to believe that a big star name was about to sign for an unlikely club, and they fell for it.

We think this is nothing short of wonderful. What a glorious way of showing how the rumour-mongers and tuppeny-ha'penny fantasists can be beaten at their own game. If it were up to us, we'd encourage even more of these spoof announcements so that every bit of rubbishy transfer gossip doing the rounds is rendered completely worthless.

PFC Kuruvchi - we salute you. Your place in football folklore is now assured.

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