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Mon 26 March 2007

The Premiership Managers XI

Early last week, like us, you may have read Jose Mourinho's latest excuse as to why Chelsea are not going to win the Premiership this season. The excuse this week was due to the "amount of injuries, especially within the defence". Mourinho went on to say that at one point he himself almost had to play as a central defender.

That got us at Some People are on the Pitch thinking - if the Premiership managers had a football team, who would be in the starting eleven and why?

Well if you've been thinking the same (unlikely, we know) then wonder no more. After much deliberation, we give you, what we think is the best Premiership Managers XI along with the sound 'logic' of our 'thought process'.

[Based on a 4-4-2 system]

Glenn Roeder - Goalkeeper: As Bob Wilson once said, "You have to be crazy to be a goalkeeper". So who better than the cheeky funster himself, Mr Roeder. This laugh a minute, cheeky young pup from the other side of Toon will be a sure-fire hit with the crowds.

Neil Warnock - Right Back: Right Back into the Championship, with any luck. It's time for Neil to put his money where his mouth is, but he will only moan that "it's not easy playing with your wallet down the back of your shorts" and then blame the referee.

Sam Allardyce - Centre Back: The big lad from Bolton will suit this role perfectly. His gameplan will be to try and nullify the skill of the opposition, and at the earliest opportunity, hoof the ball forward to the strikers and ball boys.

Gareth Southgate - Centre Back: Tall... intelligent... doesn't take penalties.

Stuart Pearce - Left Back: Not so tall... not so intelligent... doesn't take penalties.

Alex Ferguson - Defensive Midfield: We're hoping he can protect the back four the same way he defends his players from the media and FA.

Arsene Wenger - Right Winger: Or should that be 'Right Whinger'? The 'not-so-gallant' Frenchman will enjoy taking on the opposition's defenders. In fact, he'll take on all-comers, including the referee and FA. There is a question mark over his eyesight however, as he often misses the most important incidents. A bright future in refereeing awaits.

Rafael Benitez - Midfield Playmaker: A bit of Spanish flair and intelligence in midfield won't go amiss in this team. Unfortunately not so hot in domestic games, but we're sure he'll come into his own on the continent.

Alan Pardew - Free role behind the front two: Very good at switching sides (i.e. 'of the Thames'), so he should be at his best here. Also very good at making it up as he goes along.

Mark Hughes - Forward: The former Old Trafford legend would be in his element here, and that's got to be better than being in Blackburn.

Jose Mourinho - Forward: In fact very forward when it comes to expressing his opinions. Sometimes feels everyone is against him in this cruel, cruel world, so he should be good at playing upfront on his own if needed. A word of caution, however: he is the owner of the match ball and liable to throw a strop and take it home at any moment.

Not even Abramovich and all his millions could buy a such a talented squad.

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