Men In Black mood swing

The Union of International Football Referees last night ordered all their members to strike indefinitely over an alleged 'insulting gesture' on the part of the French Football Federation.

The disruptive action has come about following the FFF's announcement this week that players representing France in the forthcoming friendly against Nigeria will wear shirts featuring their names in Braille. Though many have been quick to praise the French governing body for their stance on disabilities and equality, the referee's union were not so happy.

Simply dotty

Graham Webb, spokesman for the union said: "We understand that the FFF are keen to celebrate the 200th anniversary of Louis Braille's birth, but we all know this is a thinly veiled attack on the supposed short-sightedness of the modern football referee. This is utterly uncalled for and violates the special relationship we have with FIFA and all its partners" he explained to a nearby lamppost.

The French are rightly proud of talismanic pioneer Braille and were quick to implement his system that uses dots instead of letters on the new shirts, but Webb and his fellow officials haven't see the funny side.

Unseen irony

"We've been through all this before. We've expressed our willingness to implement goal-line technologies and the use of action replays to assist us in our very difficult duties, but gestures like this are simply uncalled for" said Webb.

"When the German FA asked its players to run around the pitch shouting their names out to help us identify them in a match situation, we suspected they were being ironic, and that issue with the Spanish FA adopting a local white stick manufacturer as one of its corporate sponsors wasn't exactly subtle either" he continued to a passing ice cream van.

Guided refereeing

"But what will come of this? Are we to be given a Labrador on a leash for every game now? If so, it could be harmful to us and the game in general" said Webb. The FFF have said they're currently putting together a response in the form of a 50-metre high billboard to be erected outside the offices of the Referees' Union headquarters.