Pet Browns

Phil Brown has been served writs by the music industry for performing live without a license.

The Hull City boss led the chorus of an adapted version of the Beach Boys' Sloop Jon B from their seminal album Pet Sounds. However, it has emerged that he had not obtained a license to perform that song.

Here today

The tune is a popular ditty on the Terraces. Hull supporters changed its central message from the dangers of alienation & drug abuse to one of celebration, despite going eleven games without a win.

In a thinly veiled attempt to ingratiate himself to the supporters, Brown grabbed the mic and began singing. The resultant din was enough to drown out the memory of how he had publicly humiliated his own players and slandered a another man with unproven accusations of spitting.

They come on like they're peaceful

Brown's wailing was picked up by an MI5 listening post which has been seconded to the Music Industry and used for weeding out unauthorised use of copyrighted music. Within minutes, solicitors were contacted and the wheels of British justice began to turn with alarming swiftness.

The Music Industry have been keen to crack down on unlicensed singing since they began losing revenue because of file sharing. They lobbied the Government who introduced an amendment to the Unnecessary Powers Act 2009 which gave them the power to "recover imaginary income through unreasonable or excessive means".

but inside they're too uptight

A spokesperson for the Music Industry, Ernesto Cockgroupier, defended the actions of his clients as "a necessary measure in the fight against the enemies of Music. We own Music and have the right to defend our property." he continued. "File-sharers are baby-eating terrorists from Afghanistan. They should be sent back to where they came from so decent folk can be left alone to pay for our Music in peace."

God only knows

Brown insists that he meant no harm. "This is a colossal overreaction and a sad reflection on modern society. I guess I just wasn't made for these times."

####Stop press#### Phil Brown to be sued for use of Beach Boy lyrics in made up interview with fictional website.