reality knee-vee

Jimmy Bullard has been asked to make a reality TV show about his recovery from knee surgery.

The England crock faces a long lay off while his knee is put back together. The procedure promises to be painful and the recovery long. With his career on the line, a TV camera want to film the whole thing, starting with the surgery in the world famous Limbani Institute of Bionic Kneelogy in Croydon.

Castro

The programme is called Striker Wants A Knee and the idea is the brainchild of west London production company Chic Quant. 'It came to me while I was watching Jade Goody die on TV' said CEO Ernesto Cockgroupier 'We're inspired by what she's doing. Jade is opening pain and misery to a much broader audience than sadists and assorted deviants'.

Cockgroupier hopes to use social networking to bring Bullard's struggle closer to the audience. 'We're big into Social Networking here.' said Cockgroupier 'The runner's always slagging me off on his Twittey and my PA set up an 'Ernesto Is A Lying C**t' group of Facebo. Its got loads of members.'

Social WTF

A TV crew will follow Bullard around during his treatment and rehab. He will also be given an iPhone so he can shoot videos of himself crying on the toilet and post them on Twitter.

Sky are favourites to commission Striker Wants A Knee. 'We've been looking into combining suffering with social media for some time' said Hambel Litewaite, Controller of Reality at BSkyB. 'Social networkers are more than happy to publicly display their own misery. We just need to get someone famous to do it so we can sell some fucking advertising.'

Electronic programme guide

'Technically, I think technically Bullard is a holding midfielder whatever that is' she continued 'However, I think we can afford a bit of artistic license. Besides Holding Midfielder Wants A Knee looks shit on the EPG'

Bullard is expected to agree to the proposal on the condition that the TV companies pay for 'additional corrective surgery' around the face and groin. But mainly the face.