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The Onion Bag: Occasionally humorous football satire

Redknapp sacked

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 273 - 17 Nov 2008
Coffin Nails

No more nails

John Lewis

Stage 2

Redknapp Nintendo Wii

Who the hell is he?

Defeat too much to bear for Spurs board

Tottenham have announced that have parted company with manager Harry Redknapp. The news comes as hardly any surprise following a string of bad result seeing the side take no points in their last one game.

Nail

Harry's reign at White Hart Lane seemed to be going perfectly; however, away defeat to Fulham this weekend, was the first and last nail in the coffin.

In a statement released last night, Spurs Chief, Daniel Levy, explained how the board had come to it's decision with a light heart and after hardly any soul-searching, but it was obvious to all concerned that the honeymoon period was over.

In sickness and in health

Dr Julius Limbani, Head of Tortured Analogies at the Croydon Centre of Sport Psychology explained more: "It's really not uncommon for clubs to experience a honeymoon period with a new manager. However, the longer this period goes on, the harder it is for fans and clubs to make the transition to the next: what we call the Writing thank you cards and taking back the duff wedding presents to John Lewis period."

He continued: "It's a sad fact that clubs very rarely get through to the Looking to move to an area with good schools period and only a few ever reach the Considering buying a villa on the Algrave period. Tottenham's decision however, whilst harsh on the surface means they won't fall into mistakes of the past such as the Ill-advised affair period or the Regret filled experimentation with swinging period."

On the buses

Redknapp has been unavailable for comment, sources close to the family suggest that he is putting all his efforts in to working out how to stop Louise from knocking him off the road with a blue turtle in Mario Kart.

Sp3ktor

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