JOHNNY FOREIGNER: GOOD THING, APPARENTLY

Funny old thing, Football. For instance, Johnny Foreigner owning most of our clubs. Good thing, apparently…?

Issue

At least, it is according to Fothergill, my pal on The Light Programme. We were discussing the issue Thursday last in The Mixed Metaphor, the watering hole for commentators in London’s fashionable Soho (it says here). Fothers’ argument went as follows.

Over-inflated

Basically, the economy’s dipping faster than a Wayne Rooney volley. One of the first things to go is advertising. No ad revenues means no profits for Sky. No profits for Sky means no money for all the clubs. No money for the clubs means foreign owners return home stung, bruised and their fingers burnt, most likely leaving local owners picking up their local clubs for a song – and without their losing millions when the economic downturn reveals the big money in football for the Emperor’s new clothes it truly is, rather like over-inflated property prices. Anyone else for a pink gin?’

Froth

Enter my other old pal, Henry Ham. Bluff, non-nonsense Henry Ham. ‘But surely, Fothers,’ he said, wiping the froth of a Mackeson’s from his top lip, ‘Surely even in dire economic circumstances people still watch football, so viewing figures will remain high and the proposition remain attractive to advertisers. Sure, they may be different advertisers as chill economic winds blow some companies away, but advertising in football at least will still be profitable, so clubs will still make big money from Sky. And is it any bad thing that clubs are foreign-owned? After all, it’s merely another aspect of the bigger, globalised picture. Really, Fothers, one must think macro-economic, rather than adopting a narrow parochial view.’

Business

We stared at him. He grinned sheepishly. ‘Sorry, just got a new job. Football Correspondent on The Business Channel.’