The Italian who came in from the cold

Funny old thing, Football. For instance, a cold snap. Brings out the worst in us, I find. Occasionally you even see footballers wearing gloves.

Polo neck jumpers

Then there was that lad at Man City last week who trotted onto the pitch wearing a polo neck jumper. Wasn't like that in my day. Oh no – in London peasoupers, in snowdrifts as high as the clock on the Clock End, on ice as hard as Dave Mackay we'd still be playing in shorts and short-sleeved jerseys. After all, there are certain standards. And the footballer's kit is no different to a suit and tie – you can't mess about with it, it wouldn't be right.

Three hats at Barnsley

I remember at Huddersfield Town we got some young fellah on loan from Italy or Spain, can't remember which. We were away at Barnsley, bitterly cold it was. When this young chappie trotted out we didn't recognise him. He wore five demob greatcoats, three hats, a leopard's skin, sixteen pairs of trousers and three large scarves. He was a skinny bloke normally but with all that clobber on, he looked like Babe Ruth. He wasn't that he couldn't run; he couldn't even walk. In fact, he was trying to move out of defence when he fell over and couldn't get up again; but not before inadvertently foiling a Barnsley attack, as their star midfielder had his head down and ran straight into him.

Fabulous Fabio

The young fellah clearly couldn't cut it so the gaffer sent him back the next day. Can't quite recall his name – Fabulous or Fabio or something. Wonder what became of him? He didn't make it in England, that's for sure…

Ciao bella,