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The Onion Bag: Occasionally humorous football satire

Toil and trouble

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 197 - 29 May 2007
John McBeth

McBeth: Love thy neighbour

British Empire

Britain: Still loved in the former colonies

Jack Warner

Warner: Hand in the till

The Scottish representative in hot water

Caribbean and African football authorities have rounded on Britain's new FIFA vice-president, John McBeth, accusing him of racism.

Fair is foul and foul is fair

McBeth, who has yet to take his position, stunned the world when he alleged that certain members of the world's football governing body might be a bit dodgy.

FIFA vice-president Jack Warner, from Trinidad and Tobago, is leading the call for McBeth to be stripped of his vice-presidency: "We find it disgraceful that we have been singled out in allegations of corruption and greed. This is FIFA: EVERYONE'S AT IT!"

I bear a charmed life

Furiously, Warner raged: "He's only picked on African and Caribbean associations - this is post-imperialist racism of the worst kind, and I will not rest until everyone is talking about this issue instead of me lining my own pocket."

What's done is done

In a statement, McBeth gave his side of the story: "My comments have been taken out of context, I meant no disrespect by them, and I apologise for any offence caused. I'm really not like that at all: being in football for as long as I have, some of my best friends are crooks."

Sp3ktor

Sound Of Football 104: Goalkeepers

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