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The Onion Bag: Occasionally humorous football satire

fake sheikh scams sven again

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 155 - 31 Jul 2006
Sven Goran Eriksson

Sven: scammed again

La Scaramanga: made from Pinewood

British Gas

Gas salesmen: preying on the old and vulnerable

Ex-England boss signs for villa… in Spain

Once again, hapless former England boss Sven Goran Eriksson finds himself duped by the so called Fake Sheikh. This time over a dodgy time share scam and the vacant manager's job at the Villa.

Dirty bomb

Not put off by his recent failures, the fake sheikh is back in action. This time he's picked an easier target in the gullible Sven. He disguised himself as Eriksson's agent Athole Still and convinced him to sign up for a two week time share of a Spanish villa by persuading him that he had in fact signed a four year contract to manage Aston Villa.

Excuse me Sir are you from the UK?

The Villa (the Spanish one) is situated on the south coast and is part of a brand new development called La Scaramanga. Mahmood is a major investor in the resort along with a number of leading football figures who for some reason or another also believed they were signing up as managers of the ailing midlands club.

Building site

Sven was approached by the Sheikh while holidaying in another resort La Lagerlouter where he met the bogus agent and signed up for what he thought was his dream job but was in fact a one bedroom apartment with en suite bathroom looking over the pool and casino due for construction 2012 pending planning permission.

Deluded old codger

Meanwhile the manager's job at Aston Villa remains un-filled. Chairman Doug Ellis was confident that Martin O'Neil had agreed to become manager when a man who he thought was the former Celtic boss came to visit Ellis at Villa Park. Unfortunately it was all a miss-understanding and Ellis had in fact unwittingly agreed to change his gas supplier.

Duffman

Sound Of Football 104: Goalkeepers

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