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The Onion Bag: Occasionally humorous football satire

I'LL GET MY DAD ONTO YOU!

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 46 - 17 May 2004
Milan Mandaric

Milan: Hard dad

Chopper

Chopper: Abused

Jim Smith

Harry's Dad: Under threat

Pompey chairman raises the stakes in war of words with Redknapp

Milan Mandaric, the mysterious Serbo-Croat owner of Portsmouth, last night escalated his feud with manager Harry Redknapp by threatening to get his Dad to beat up Harry's Dad.

Good-bye, Mis-Ter Bond!

It all started with Mandaric claiming that Redknapp wanted to get rid of his coaching staff, Jim Smith and Kevin Bond. Redknapp responded by stating that it was in fact Mandaric who wanted the coaches out.

As the row intensified, Mandaric ordered the confiscation of the club's footballs in an effort to halt training, saying: "You can't play with my ball anymore." Redknapp, however, had an orange, lightweight plastic ball from Woolworths in the boot of his car, thus enabling the lads to continue preparations for their meanlingless final fixture of the season.

Parklife

Undaunted, Mandaric next closed the training ground after his mum said Harry couldn't come round anymore, forcing Redknapp and his players to meet up the local rec.

The final straw came when Mandaric and his gang turned up at the park and started kicking a ball at Redknapp. Our reporter Larry Gak was on the spot and captured the moment on camera.

Click here to see it

Big Red Chopper

Incensed, Redknapp pushed Mandaric's red Chopper bike over and kicked the chain guard, at which point Mandaric yelled, "I'll get my Dad onto you!".

We asked Milan Mandaric's dad if he was up for a scrap with Harry's old man. But Milan's dad snuffed it 1984 so we had to put the coffin back.

Castro

Sound Of Football 104: Goalkeepers

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