Occupy Stadiums

As the World erupts in protest and crisis grips the European economies, English football fans anxious not to be excluded from the fun are planning a series of protests about the proposed changes in their beloved game.

Crisis on infinite pitches

With talk of international TV deals, an end of relegation and the abolition of young players, the game in England is in crisis. Unwilling to lie down and accept this, English fans, inspired by the protests taking place in Wall Street, London, Sydney and in many other cities will occupy football stadiums.

"Real fans in this country are sick of big business ruining our game." exclaimed Nik Dogbolter of the 110% protest movement. "We intend to stand up to these bullies by occupying their... I mean our stadiums until something happens."

Think of the children

"Football fans in this country have a voice" says to community activist, Les Dyke. "Their concerns about our game are real and in no way indicative of a society that has lost perspective. Football matters, to me at least."

The protests were sparked by the Football League's decision to agree to the the Premier League snatching children from under their noses and putting them through hard labour with only a poultry fee by way of compensation to the clubs who spotted them in the first place.

Six of one

"Smaller clubs have just as much right to commodify underage labour as the big boys in the Premier League." says Dyke who states that the first round of protests will take place next Saturday at 3pm, subject to TV scheduling. "We did a test event at Old Trafford on Sunday on Sunday and it went really well." she said "That was up until people started leaving early. I guess it takes time to build up a revolutionary ferver."

With football fans deserting the English game in their dozens, the Premier League responded by investing more money on players and putting some shinier graphics on the telly. Sky Sports have also promised to lower the neckline of Hayley McQueen's top by another inch.